Would a replica doll of your dead baby make you feel any better?

Question

I have just read a news artical about a woman who makes replica dolls of a baby who has died, by coping a photo,
Do you think this is right,
Should'nt you greave, and try to come to terms with a loss of a baby
Please give me your thoughts

Answer 1

The bottom line is that people have different ways of grieving.



When I lost my baby, I turned to massive amounts of alcohol. Was this right? Proably not and it served for numerous headaches and calls into work. The turning point for me was when I hid a capsule of hydrocodone in my pocket, so that I could take it later with a few doses of liquor. The fates stepped in and I ended up forgetting about the pill and danced in the rain... and the pill disolved in my pocket. At that moment, I knew I had hit rock bottom and decided to pull myself out of my hole.



If women need that "doll" to grieve and to heal then let them be. It's when they start confusing dreams with reality that it begins to be a problem.



I'm not saying the way I grieved was right and I am not saying that putting a doll in place of a child is right. What I am saying is that no one can tell a person how to grieve. Some people join support groups, clubs, or start working more... and that's fine, but no one thing works for everyone and people should understand that.



Just remember, losing a child is the most devastating situation any woman may go through... and with a loss of such proportions sometimes people will go to extremes to make that pain go away... here's to hoping that they take the steps to mend their hearts though.



Good question.

Answer 2

It must be a devastating thing, to lose a baby .

It is a tragedy , which is very hard to come to terms with,

for both the father and the mother



I really can't imagine, how i would cope .



But to your question .

I do know of some bereaved couples,



Given the opportunity, to cuddle their dead baby

and be given a photograph, of their child ,

is a real comfort to them .

a proper funeral, is also a big part, of the grieving process.



Time and support ,from each other, can gradually ease the loss .



I do not believe anyone can "get over " the death of a child ,

even a tiny baby"

You just learn to live, with that grief,

and get on with your life, as best you can .



The doll idea ,

is new to me and seems wrong and bizarre ,

I fail to see how it could help . ( only reinforce the tragedy)

that would be a constant reminder, that your baby was dead .

I do not think , IMO ,it is a good or natural way

to manage a bereavement .



My heart goes out, to any parents faced with this situation .

xx

Answer 3

When I was 30 I was in a doll store buying my daughter a very expensive life like doll for Christmas. They we're beautiful!! It wasvso amazing that I picked another one up while hers was being wrapped. It was like holding a real newborn baby. Everything but the smell. I ended up buying myself a cheaper version. I loved it, clothed it occasionally, kept it in a cradle. Sometimes just to pretend again that I had a newborn. I knew she wasn't real, I had little problems giving her to my knew niece a couple of years later. If a woman wanted a replica to remember, what's the harm. Other people take their babies home, love them, photograph them all of their life. Its pretty much a one shot deal to get a picture if your baby dies. This way she could have a life size model, all of her life. If they could do it with a 3d printer, all the better. A full size picture. A wonderful thing!!!

Answer 4

Does this woman charge the grieving parents money for this? If so it seems wrong to make a profit out of others grief, (although funeral directors, florists and card companies have been doing it for years - not quite the same I know).



Everyone grieves differently and there is no 'right' or 'wrong' to it and whatever helps has to be a good thing? Not sure it's something I'd choose but then I've never had to deal with the death of a baby (and never want to either).

Answer 5

It is a little Norman Bates. What next, a full bown replica of your dead mother sitting in the lounge.

The bereaved need counselling and comfort, this doll will not give them closure. They may become preoccupied with it and never have more children or neglect any they already have. At the very worst it could encourage mental illness. Its very sad ... and eerie.

Answer 6

That sounds horrible like she is playing on their grief. I would not want that, a photo would be enough, a friend lost a baby and they gave her a photo at the hospital but three yeatrs later she hasnt opened the envelope containing the pic, she now has a healthy baby. She says she may feel strong enough one day.

Answer 7

It wouldn't be something I would consider doing to help me through my grief, but I do know that everyone grieves in their own way & in their own time. So if it helps a woman get through a traumatic time in her life, then it is right for her. Losing a child is a devastating experience & a person needs to do whatever makes them feel right. No one can say what they would do or how they would feel until they've actually been there.

Answer 8

i my self has lost a baby and i think it is so sick for someone to be making these dolls

i have my memories and photos that is all i want not a doll

you should be able to greave in peace not people making money out of your loss of a so much wanted and innocent baby

Answer 9

Whilst I dont think its right to make money out of a baby dying, some people might find that this helps them.



It is a bit weird to actually start up this kind of business, has this woman ever lost a baby and maybe she thought this would help her?

Answer 10

I read this myself and find the whole idea quite frankly disturbing ... u can never replace the loss of a child with a doll .... this is a disgusting money making scheme praying on people who have suffered a loss ... its traumatic enough ... let them grieve .. its sickening and shouldn't be allowed ....

Answer 11

Hello,



(ANS) Talking from my own experience of death & dying, I find the idea of creating a dolly or sculpture of a dead baby or dead child abit weird, I find that idea quite disturbing, even slightly goolish perhaps?!!



Why? because when a person dies, even if that human being is only a few hours, days or weeks or months old. As upsetting, & as traumatic as that exerience is, its vital to grieve. Grieving in my opinion is about the pain & agony of being torn away from our attachment to someone. Because when you love someone usually you become attached emotionally to them, attachment seems to be an intimate part of how human beings love.



Death means we are forced to release this emotional attachment, let go that loving we have or had for that person. By creating a doll perhaps it doesnt allow the natural process of grief to flow as it should (could), creating a doll seems like a NOT wanting to fully let go, to not fully face upto the loss. I dont know but it feels abit weird to me. Perhaps I'm not fully appreciating the persons motives for wanting such a thing?



**For example:- I personally wouldnt like a life size sculpture or doll of my dad who died 7years ago. I have no need to be reminded of him in that way.



**I prefer to face the reality of death as it should be honored, creation of a doll is not something I can relate too.



IR

Answer 12

well when i heard of this i was like Oh great now every one knows about these dolls!. these dolls were made long before they got classed as your dead babies replica. jeeze! they were actuly nice things to have before this. my mum loves them she has about 4 and they cost alot of money. but in no way did she ever see it as a replacment of a child, they just lookd so amizingly real. art even.

Answer 13

No no no that is wrong.Should have time to greave an move forward with life not have a replica of dead baby.If it was me i would rather not

Answer 14

I saw this and actually felt quite ill at the thought of it. Like you say is it really a helpful way to cope. I don't think it is very nice at all.

Answer 15

thats creepy.... that woman could be up to something else...like voodoo maybe...



let the dead rest in peace... and re that baby, photos is fine i think...but a replica? twisted idea of coping with death....



flipside of the coin however...its similar to making busts /statues of dead people isnt it? in memory of the long lost dead loved ones....

Answer 16

I've got a replica doll of Pamela Anderson.

Makes me feel better all the time!

Answer 17

No, that's gross! God forbid poor people who have this happen to them - I cannot personally think that a replica would help but I guess it's each to their own and grief can affect different people in different ways.

Answer 18

That is beyond creepy. My 2-year-old died 2 years ago in an accident and if anyone were to suggest that to me I think I would flip out.

Answer 19

Is this and Norman Bates in the movie Psycho really that far apart?

Answer 20

To you and me it sounds sick, but if it brings a little comfort to the person who lost their child whats the harm, I can only imagine what it must feel like to lose a child, its got to mess you up.

Answer 21

I don't think it's a good idea and I think it would prolong grief. Also the idea of someone making money out of this...no way!



I think a photo would be nice to keep, though.

Answer 22

These people are not right in the head and sad as it may be they should face up to reality.

Answer 23

OMG I find that totally sick!! Of course you need to grieve properly not have some stupid doll to take its place!!!! Nothing can take the place of a child....especially not some stupid doll!!!!!

Answer 24

I don't think this is the right way to help a grieving parent.

Answer 25

I also read about this I thought this was horrible almost freaks me out! That someone could do this, I know its difficult losing someone but this is just wrong!

Answer 26

it would not work for me, but may work for other people. best is to discuss it with the pertson at the time, when the time is right.

Answer 27

NO NO NO NO NO NO

god even the idea turns my stomach.

Answer 28

I don't think that is right. I actually think it is bizarre, but I have never been in that position, so I can't judge for sure.

Answer 29

Oh my god! Thats well messed up!

Answer 30

sick sick sick, and this woman is making money out of someone elses misery !

Answer 31

eww no

Answer 32

I don't think so.

Answer 33

Sick question!!!!!